and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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