is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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