He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize