WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
