Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
