We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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