We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
