She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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