they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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