he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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