drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
