make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
