just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
