did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
