Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
