My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
