Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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