i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
