So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
