"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
