No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
