So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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