i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
