If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
