The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize