Already got asked if we're dating
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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