btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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