let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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