I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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