My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
