Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
