hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
