Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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