Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
