white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
