She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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