Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
