i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you have feelings for this penis?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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