I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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