I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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