From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize