I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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