My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
