I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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