I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
