I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I want a musical about memes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
