it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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