Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
