We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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