I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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