You just made me feel so damn special
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize