This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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