I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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