after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize