Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
