you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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