I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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