Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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