Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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